(no subject) by Jim Magee, Vol. I

March 24, 2010 Leave a comment

Every now and then, an email from Jim Magee pops up in my inbox.  Most of the time he’s sending some sort of a list or some other writing project he’s working on at the time.  A lot of times however, I simply just get an email that says (no subject) in the title line.  This title is clearly a lie because most of the time the email does, in fact, have a subject.  What it doesn’t have, though, is an author who feels like he needs to tell you what his email about, probably because he believes that his words speak for themselves.  I feel like I need to do something to honor this annoying trend.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the first installment of (no subject) by Jim Magee:

A couple of decades ago this country was given someone who was taken as a baby and told that he had to sing and dance in order to make people happy.  So he did.  And people were happy because of him.

In response to that effort, the country accused him of touching little children.

After he was found innocent of this accusation, he tried to make people happy again.  But nobody would listen this time.

And he eventually passed out.


Woodcast Ep. 4: Se-Secede-io!

March 23, 2010 Leave a comment

Well here we are in the fourth episode and we already have a new No. 2 to help things move along.  In this episode we discuss Health Care, goats in kitchens, Keith Hernandez, why Jim might get arrested, and Chad Roulette, all while supplying our friend, Eddie Roosevelt, with more ammo than he’ll ever need.  Bombs away!

Woodcast Ep 04 – Se-Secede-io! mp3 version (click to play)

Woodcast Ep 04 – Se-Secede-io! iTunes version

Jim’s Favorite Movie Scenes 10-1

March 21, 2010 Leave a comment

After leaving you in suspense for a couple days, here are Jim’s final ten picks for his favorite movie scenes.  There are three that youtube doesn’t have.

10. Braveheart – “And if you would just lead them to Freedom…they’d follow you. And so would I.”

9. Rocky Balboa –“Let me tell you something you already know”

Read more…

Jim’s Favorite Movie Scenes 20-11

March 18, 2010 Leave a comment

I hope yesterday treated you well, so grab a leftover beer or seven and enjoy part 2 of Jim’s list of 30 Favorite Movie Scenes.

20. Robin Hood – “But if you truly believe in your hearts that you are free, then I say we can win”

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Jim’s Favorite Movie Scenes 30-21

March 17, 2010 Leave a comment

As promised from the podcast, I’ll be posting Jim’s favorite scenes over the next three days.  Some scenes we aren’t going to have, so you’ll need to use your imagination.  I’m sure that won’t be too hard.

30. Lawrence of Arabia – “The trick…is not minding that it hurts.”

29. 1776 – “Why can’t you acknowledge what already exists!?!”

Watch the rest after the jump and I'll sit down. I promise!

Read more…

Woodcast Ep. 3: The Mighty Bison

March 16, 2010 Leave a comment

Yes, we’re still on the air despite a lot of you not even knowing how to download or listen to a podcast.  In Episode Three, the W9 welcomes a member to his very first podcast experience. Join him and the rest of us as we talk about Daylight Savings, Mallard Fillmore, our first Blue President, and Jim’s favorite movie scenes. Catch the fever!

I’ve included two versions of the podcast.  The first one is an mp3 that you can download and play on anything (do people still use winamp?), and the second one is the enhanced (read: with pictures) version you can listen to in iTunes.

Woodcast Episode 03 – The Mighty Bisonmp3 version

Woodcast Episode 03 – The Mighty BisoniTunes version

The W9 and Girls, Pt. 1: Friday Nights at the Pillardome

March 13, 2010 Leave a comment

When we were little, status was defined by how well we did with “The Girls.”

By “we” I mean “boys.”

By “The Girls” I mean “one girl.”

And by “well”. . . well the Woodside 9 didn’t really know.

The gym at St. Teresa’s was the eyesore of the CYO (Catholic Youth Organization) circuit.  Having had its floor planks carelessly placed over a cavernous basement, it had dribbling dead spots everywhere on the court.  And having been constructed in a storage room that was never intended to host a basketball game, the St. Teresa’s gym had a fifteen foot basketball-blocking concrete ceiling and four massive pillars within sidelines that were in play.  To cover up this last defect, St. Teresa’s put up a crudely-made sign above the entrance that read: THE PILLARDOME.

In myself and Johan’s seventh and eighth years at St. Teresa’s (which were the sixth and seventh years for Patrick, Al, Tom and John Marino) the forum for meeting girls was the Pillardome on Friday nights.  This was because St. Teresa’s would host CYO basketball games and all of the girls from the neighborhood would come down to the gym to see the boys play.

Pat, Al and I, as well as Johan and John Marino, were never one of those boys.  (Tom Irwin was a different story, but let’s hope we don’t have time for that.)

It’s important to point out that the scoreboard at the Pillardome was in a place where no spectator could see it.  It was mounted above the concession stand on the spectator’s side.  The concession stand was so close to the court that people waiting to buy popcorn or soda were constantly stepping onto the court and interfering with the game.  The only place for a spectator to sit was at the sides of the concession stand behind the scoreboard.  The result of all of this was twofold: a spectator had to walk onto the court, around the pillars, to see what the score was (which Jim Magee Sr. would do whether or not it meant that he was wandering into a game), and that only the players, coaches and score keepers could see the board.

In a savvy move, Pat, Al and I volunteered to work the scoreboard.  This was actually three jobs.  One, obviously, the operation of the scoreboard.  Two, playing with college rules, the direction of the possession arrow.  Three, one of us would keep “the Book” which was a compilation of stats for the St. Teresa’s coach.  There would be three games every Friday night, the later games having the older kids.  With each game the three of us would rotate the duties.

By sitting there, we could not only see the scoreboard, but could also watch who was coming into the arena.  This was the real point.  Because despite what we might say now, in hindsight, each one of us was really there only to meet girls.  By “girls” I mean the people that we sat next to in elementary school every weekday from nine to three, and by “meet” . . . I don’t think we have figured that out even now.

So every Friday afternoon we would all meet at the Magee house.  We would put on our best clothes (which for me, was always the same red and blue rugby shirt) and douse ourselves with the only cologne we had: a blue bottle of POLO SPORT that we knew was our ticket to meeting girls.  And we would sit there, keeping score, trying to keep spectators off the court by yelling the score across the gym (read: my father), and amusing ourselves by doing play-by-play and commentary that only we could hear.  If Pat and Al had a game I would do all the roles.  If I had a game, one of them would pick up a second role.

I haven’t mentioned that all of us, except Tom Irwin (btw fuck you for that Tom), never got to play too much.  So when John Burnette, the point guard of the seventh grade team, stole the ball by the pillar closest to the concession stand, spotted a cherry-picking John Marino down court next to the basket, chucked the ball to him, and screamed “SHOOT JOHN!,” the crowd went nuts.

And so did the girls.


– Jim